Sometimes, God allows something to come up and smack you in the face. Such was the case this morning when, while browsing a friend's old blog posts, I stumbled across this little gem of a quote:
"I’m not as open as I appear you know. I’m as open as I think I have to be."
Ouch. That stings.
Because I have spent years trying to "perfect" my openness. I have broken down and analyzed brokenness, openness, and vulnerability to a point where they have basically just become an equation with differing variables based on the setting in which I find myself. I know how open I need to be to maintain certain friendships. I know how vulnerable I have to be if I am going to balance socially awkward MK, overly zealous academic, and generally acceptable human being. But why?
Because I have learned that people simply don't care.
I was listening to a radio broadcast the other day and heard a woman talking about subjects that should never be part of conversation (diet, sleeping habits, dreams, money, and a few others). Her reasoning was that these subjects are boring. No one really cares about these things. And I had to admit to myself, despite the fact that I often incorporate these topics into conversation, that she was right. These subjects really are boring. If someone were to discuss these topics with me, I wouldn't care.
We live in a world that is driven by narcissism, populated by individuals, and overwhelmed with a sometimes unhealthy sense of self. In an age of social media, we have become more isolated. In a culture that shares everything with everyone, nobody really cares all that much about those who are part of their networks. Social media has really just become a platform for individuals to propagate self for their own sake. Our social interactions are no longer for the sake of others, they are for our own benefit.
Perhaps I am looking through an overly critical lens. Perhaps I am not accounting for the few exceptions to this rule. I hate generalizations, so I will admit that there are cases where these facts are not true. However, from the perspective of one who has interacted with an incredible number of people over the last several years, I have observed this to be largely true, especially in the younger generation. I can not blame young people for this mindset: it is a product of the culture and age in which we live.
But this is not the community mindset that Scripture teaches us. Scripture teaches us that we are a body. Our successes should make the whole body rejoice, and our sufferings should cause the whole body to suffer. Read 1 Corinthians 12. That is the culture we are supposed to embrace, to embody. So why, in a culture that is supposed to be driven by openness and sharing, of being partakers of the joys and sorrows of our brothers and sisters, would someone ever feel the need to say:
"I’m not as open as I appear you know. I’m as open as I think I have to be."
I can admit that I struggle with this as well. It isn't always easy to allow someone to share personal aspects of their life with me, but yesterday as a friend from work confided in me some personal issues between him and his father and how those issues made him feel, I realized that it is my responsibility as a follower of Christ to share in those sufferings. I am so far removed from that situation that I should never have to deal with it. I'm not even friends with them on Facebook. By all of today's standards, his problems shouldn't concern me. But I have to allow myself to become part of his story, because that's what Jesus would do.
I am as open as I think I have to be, as open as I think I can be. I hold back. But offer me a safe environment, and I will share. I will be real and honest. And I will offer you the same in return.
"That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together." (1 Corinthians 12:25-26, ESV)
